Jurassic Frank

Check out this recap of the Pacers loss to the Toronto Raptors on 8 Points, 9 Seconds.

SAW: NBA Edition

Inspired by Adam Reisinger's Tweet, Dorkballer proudly gives you...

Jason Kidd: Wha... What I am I doing here?

Jason, chained to a pipe, looks around and finds a recorder, presses play.

Jigsaw: Jason, this is your wake-up call. You keep on telling your players they don't have the will to win. However, the question is: Do you?
If you want to win. You have to kill your colleague...

Kidd looks across the room.

Kidd: What's the last thing you remember?

Mike Woodson: Nothing! I went to work at my terribly, crappily ran franchise, and I woke up in an actual craphole.

Kidd: What did he tell you?

Woodson: Same thing he told you...

Woodson presses play on his recorder 

Jigsaw: If either of you want to win... you will have to true you truly value your job...

If one of you kills the other, I will give you a winning game plan... Remember, X marks the spot... You have until the trade deadline.

Kidd: No.

Woodson: I'm not going to die.

Kidd: Neither am I... there has to be another way out...

Both men look between them.

Woodson: Is that a gun?

Kidd: Yes. I can see something else, but can't quite tell what it is.

Both men look at each other, before looking around the room for anything to help them.

Woodson: I found this saw when I woke up. It was behind the pipes.

Kidd looks around him. Kidd finds a saw on his end as well, hidden in a toilet, wrapped in a towel.

Kidd: This isn't going to make it through metal...

Woodson:  He doesn't want us to cut through our chains. He wants us to cut through our feet!

Kidd: What are we going to do?

Woodson: Use the towel, try to see if you can get the something off the body.

Kidd tries several times, before knocking the other object to Kidd. It is a cell phone. Before Kidd can make a call, the phone rings. The caller ID says Mikhail Prokhorov.

Prokhorov: JASON! They have me held hostage! They said that you would save me! They said if you didn't do in in time, I'd have to hire Isaiah Thomas!

The phone goes dead.

Woodson: Jason, calm down. There must be a way out of this!

Kidd: I can’t be calm! My team needs me! No, God! 

Woodson:  Jason, I have a team too! I don’t win, that’s my mistake. It’s a mistake I’d  like to fix!

Kidd gets his shirt off, down to a plain white tee shirt underneath. He starts to wrap one end around his chained up foot and ties it off. Woodson realizes what he is preparing to do, completely loses it and freaks out, screaming.

Kidd holds the other end of the shirt in his mouth, biting it for a brace. The look in his eyes is one of complete madness and desperation. He takes up the hacksaw in his right hand, puts it against his ankle and starts to saw into his foot while Woodson begins to scream in complete horror. 

Kidd now has sawed off his foot. He crawls to the body in the middle, and kinds the gun empty, but finds one bullet in an envelope.

Woodson: What are you doing?

Kidd loads the bullet.

Woodson: No! Jason, please! I'm begging you! Jason, it's not me who did this to you!

Kidd: You have to die.

Woodson: No! I want to live!

Kidd: I'm sorry...

Woodson: I want to live!

Kidd: My team... [shoots Woodson] There! I did it! Now show them to me! I've done it! (Cries)

The door slides open, and a bewildered Randy Wittman enters. 

As Kidd asks, Wittman begins to pull out a gun and aim towards Kidd.

Kidd: You! I’ll kill you! You bastard! I’ll kill you!

Wittman: You think I wanted to do this? HE MADE ME DO IT.

Wittman checks Woodson’s body. Thinking him dead.

Wittman: You’re too late.

Kidd: Why?

Wittman aims the gun at Kidd.

Wittman: It’s the rules.

Before Wittman can fire, a merely injured Woodson springs to life. A scuffle ensures and it looks like Wittman has the upper hand as he pins Woodson to the floor, but Kidd grabs the lid of the toilet he was chained to and smashes it over Wittman's head, killing him.

Kidd: (his voice very weak and shaky) You’re going to be all right. You’re just wounded in the shoulder.

Woodson: Don't leave me! (grasping Kidd, begging.) 

Kidd nods, but crawls to door. Woodson reaches for him as he turns himself around and away.

Woodson: No!! (he keeps crying) No! No!

Kidd crawls towards the door.

Kidd: Don’t...Don’t worry, I’ll bring someone back. I promise.

Kidd continues to crawls out the door while Woodson watches him pathetically, reaching out.

Jigsaw: I'm sick of people who don’t appreciate their blessings.

Kidd looks around, and sees the body in the middle of the room moving, getting up, and walking towards the door.

Jigsaw: Most people are so ungrateful to coach. But not you, not anymore.

Jigsaw pulls off a mask...

GAME OVER

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